If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
