I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
