I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
PANTIES FOUND
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
