And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
