I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
