i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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