No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
