Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Small penises have feelings too.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
