this just has baby written all over it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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