for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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