I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
