We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm passing your future prison.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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