Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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