i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
