He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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