Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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