Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dicks are not precious.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
