At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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