Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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