ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
