I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
