ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
