If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Hippo gnu deer
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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