Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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