I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
