Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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