i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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