i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
