So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
