Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
