you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I could fuck to npr.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Shame - the story of my life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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