id be glad to
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
