Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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