some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
