you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
