Her vagina should come with caution tape.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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