He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
