My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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