We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
