my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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