we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
