I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
