so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
