I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
