what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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