I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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