Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
