it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
