you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
