somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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