it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
