she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
