If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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