I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ok first of all what the fuck
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
