My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
