I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
