I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
