I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
